Protecting our Beaches

Originally published 8/22/2024

If any beach were to be mine, Anastasia would be it. This is the beach I have gone to all my life. No other beach has ever compared. From the moment you enter in through the gate, it’s like driving into a piece of wild Florida trapped in the amber of time, safely ensconced from anything that might dim its beauty.

It’s all live oaks and palms and sandy ground and beach daisies as far as the eye can see until you round that last corner into the parking lot. The bathrooms are old and creaky with an occasional banana spider hanging precariously nearby. And the boardwalk over the dunes to the beach is quite the trek complete with searing hot wood under your feet and a blistering sun overhead, reminding you that you probably should have applied sunscreen as soon as you exited the car. 

But the moment you reach the top of the last dune, you can immediately feel the ocean breeze, hear the roar of the waves, and smell the salt soaking the air. And the view makes it all worth it. It’s a pristine endless beach dusted with millions of shells and grains of red sand with not a house or hotel in sight. It’s just you, a small handful of other people, and miles of beach for you to share. It’s probably the closest you can ever feel to how those first conquistadors felt when they stepped foot on La Florida’s shores hundreds of year ago. And for the next few hours, it’s yours. 

It’s yours to search for dozens of shark’s teeth and your sister to find her first one. It’s where your mom first teaches you to body surf and you realize how painful it is when those beautiful shells scrape against your stomach, but also how much fun it is when you do it right. 

It’s yours to build endless sandcastles and mermaid tails while your brother attempts to chase sea gulls and sand pipers. It’s where you see your first hammerhead shark accidentally caught by a fisherman and you’re a little more hesitant to go back in the water once he throws it back.

It’s yours to explore and splash in as you experience the power of the waves and the give and flow that makes up life. It’s where you come no matter the season or weather because it’s a natural haven just a drive away. 

And no matter what, you walk. You walk looking for shells, broken bits and perfectly whole. You wade through pools left by the tide and let the edge of the water tickle your toes. You see dolphins far in the distance and a sea turtle swimming in the waves rolling in to the shore. You look at sea turtle nests and talk about coming early enough one time to see them hatch. You take pictures of sunrises and too many sunsets to count. You come when you’re happy and you come when life is too much to bear. Always walking. Knowing that somehow the beach can take all the broken parts of yourself and help make them whole, smoothing the edges out like a colorful piece of sea glass hidden among the shells. These are the memories etched in the sand and in my heart. There is no other beach for me. 

You don’t come to Anastasia to experience another tourist attraction or to play golf or pickleball. You come to escape the trolley bells and hundreds of people bustling from one shop to the next. You come to escape the chaos of civilization and instead breathe in the chaos of the wild.

We don’t mind sharing it with tourists. But we want to them come, not because we put out a flashing neon sign screaming check out our new resort and amenities. We want them to be adventurous, looking for hidden gems to explore, and then leaving in awe of this stretch of unadulterated beach and wilderness. Because that’s what it is and how it should always stay. That’s what makes it beautiful and worth visiting. 

Florida is not an amusement park for tourists. It’s not an attraction to those of us who were born here and choose to stay.

The beaches, state parks, Anastasia, and the last little bit of wild Florida that they represent belong to us, to the Floridians who come and grace its shores every single day. Because it’s our home. 

Our memories are etched in the sand and whispered back to us on the waves.

A Note from Heaven

This is still one of my favorite photos to this day and it honestly wasn’t even planned. I was taking two classes that I was thrilled about that semester— Mark Twain which I had waited for 2 years for and a Disney class. What could wrong, right? Apparently a lot.

I should have known when Georgia lost the national championship game the first day of class. While I did thoroughly enjoy both of those classes, this was my worst semester as far as my health goes (followed closely by the semester before! Junior year was rough y’all). Nobody wants unexplained eczema all over your face but especially not a 21 year old college girl who’s already extremely self-conscious and struggling with anxiety. And it went on for weeks. By the time it started to calm down, my skin was a wreck, cycling between eczema and acne and back again.

I actually was skipping my Twain class the day this picture was taken for a doctor’s appointment. But I was still doing the reading when a random guy walked over and told me how pretty I looked, sitting there reading with the sun shining on me. And he offered to take a picture. I was flustered and surprised, but agreed and ended up with this picture which I love.

I had never seen that guy before and I never saw him again even though I read there all the time. All I know is that I was very close to crying that day because of how bad I felt and that that little moment brightened my day.

I like to think that while I was reading Twain’s Letters from the Earth that God sent me a little note from heaven. And whether angel or not, that moment and act of kindness still makes me smile to this day.

Christmas This Year

Originally written December 23, 2022

Christmas is my favorite time of year but honestly I haven’t felt very Christmasy this year. And that’s just life I guess. The fragility of life is not something new to me. When you’re the oldest grandchild and the oldest of several kids, you quickly become acquainted with the beautiful frailty of new life. But death, and by connection grief are still very new to me. And for that I should be thankful I guess. But it doesn’t make it any easier, doesn’t make the questions any less, or make my mind able to comprehend it anymore than I’ve already tried.

I wish I had something profound or eloquent to say to make it all better. But I don’t. All I know is that no matter how vast the darkness seems, there is always immeasurable light. Shining with the promise of eternity and the truth that the darkness has already been vanquished, long before I was born.

Nobody has forever. But He does. And Christmas reminds us, that until the day when we can also share in that eternity that He placed a longing for in our hearts, He still lives, hope still comes, and God is still with us.
So no matter how hard it is, I’m thankful for Christmas. For a God who would descend to our mess of a world. Hope itself wrapped in the swaddling clothes of a baby. The Light of the world in the dark of winter. And the angels sing while I cry, and He cries too.

An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”


The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.
Luke 2:9-11, John 1:5

A Poem on Grief

​It’s been 365 days 
Since we lost you. 
It simultaneously seems
Like yesterday
And forever ago. 
You were gone 
And replaced by grief. 

Most of the time
It’s barely perceptible. 
Hiding away,
Adrift in the recesses of my mind,
Carefully tucked away
Until something calls it forth. 

It could be something simple–
A song on the radio,
A movie on TV,
A jet in the sky–
That sends an instant signal
Straight to my heart,
Echoing across its depths,
Forcing me to remember
(Not that I ever forgot).

But ironically, yet fitting,
It’s not the simple reminders 
That hurt the most,
But the lack thereof. 
It’s the things that should be there
But aren’t. 
The things that are missing
Along with you. 

The endless unread messages on my phone,
The helping hand after any celebration,
The bright smile and infectious laugh during a story,
The quick wit and thoughtful words in abundance,
The hug when it was time to go,
The reassurance of next time…
The emptiness in the places where you should be. 

These are the moments
That call forth the aching pain 
I can’t ignore. 
These are the moments
That draw the tears I cannot stop. 
These are the moments
That bring a sorrow-drenched nostalgia
For what used to be, but isn’t anymore. 
An aching yearning to go back–
But knowing I never can. 

Because everything in life
(Even you)
Is temporal. 
(Well, almost everything. 
My love is eternal).

Even this aching emptiness
Will come and go,
Tucked away in the crevices of my heart
Until it is called forth once again,
And again, and again. 
Until it comes forth for its final time
(As it too is only temporary)
And we are together once more 
In eternity. ❤️

Two Raindrops

Two raindrops
Just sitting there,
Like my tears,
But those seldom come in twos. 
At first it was a deluge,
Gushing rivers of sorrow 
And of pain. 
Now they’re just trickles,
Sometimes expected,
Sometimes not.
Always because of you. 

And I know.
I know He can take
The most broken and burned ashes
And make something beautiful. 
I know deep down in the darkness,
There’s life growing
Watered by our tears 
And those from heaven. 
But that doesn’t make it any easier. 

And I know there will be brighter days,
Eventually. 
There’s already been plenty of sunny days
Since that achingly bright day 
When we first learned you were gone. 
And today is no different. 
But no matter how many seasons come and go,
Without you
A tiny part of my heart 
Will be forever winter. 

And the Song Goes On

Written Easter 2020 but based on ideas and thoughts that I had been having for a long time. And honestly, this Easter, I find these words comforting once again. 

And The Song Goes On

Darkness. 
Despair. 
Silence. 
Hopelessness crushing in around me,
Stealing my breath
As I search the starless sky in vain. 

How can this be good?
How can love allow so much pain?
How can the brokenness shattered around me be good?

How can I trust a god
Who sacrifices the One He loves most?
Yet, how can I not?

How can I not trust the One
Who willingly gave everything 
For the scattered shards of myself?
How can I not love the One
Who took my greatest pain out of love?
How can I not worship the One
Who calls me Beloved?

For a moment,
Darkness descends. 
For a moment,
Hopelessness overwhelms.
For a moment,
The silence is deafening. 

But just for a moment. 

Even here in the darkness,
A beam of light penetrates the darkness,
Diving into the depths
And chasing away the shadows. 

Even here in the crushing despair,
Hope pulses,
Beckoning me towards the promise of morning,
Redemption, and new life. 

Even here in the silence,
The air thrums with the faint notes of love,
Swelling into a song of life —
An anthem of victory. 

I want to bottle this moment up. 
Capture this feeling. 
Save it for the nights full of doubt. 

Despite my doubts,
My endless searching —
Love pursues,

Filling my sky with stars
And leaving me breathless,
Light with the weight of glory. 
As light prevails, 
Hope endures,
And the song goes on. 

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” ~ John 1:5

As Hope Arose

From Easter 2021:

Red
Were the precious drops
Of blood that were shed
Upon that cross
Where the Savior bled 
With my crown of thorns
Upon his head
To bring back to life
What once was dead. 

Dark
Was the night 
And my sins that lay
Buried with Him
In the grave I made
With weeping and sorrow 
Waiting for day.

Light
Was the sky
Streaked with gold
As the very best story
Began to unfold
Death defeated
And lost its hold
And my heart was full
As hope arose. 

“He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.” ~ Matthew 28:6

Thankful today and everyday that Jesus is the embodiment of hope, the fulfiller of all our myths and all our longings that we have expressed in stories since the dawn of time.

“The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” ~ John 1:5

Glorious Day

In honor of this weekend, I thought I’d go back and share some of the poems I’ve written about Easter in the past. Because as much as I love Christmas and writing about it, it’s Easter that makes me turn to poetry. 

This first one is one of the first poems I wrote that I actually also really liked and felt proud of. That being said, I did write it in when I was in high school (maybe 2014?) so don’t judge it too harshly. I was still finding my own voice and learning which rules I wanted to follow and which ones I wanted to break. But I still hope you’ll enjoy reading it and remember why Good Friday is indeed Good.

Glorious Day

The night was black,
The air was cold,
Without a promise,
Or hint of hope. 

The clouds covered
The twinkling stars,
Allowing no light-
Near or far. 

His body lay broken
Within the grave,
While His disciples’ hopes
Drifted away. 

But then for a moment,
All was still-
As the darkness trembled
Near the hill. 

Ever so slowly,
The black fell away,
Revealing the golden
Light of day. 

The clouds rolled back,
The cold disappeared,
While two Roman soldiers
Quivered in fear. 

And then suddenly
With a burst of light-
He appeared,
Clothed in shimmering white. 

Oh, Glorious Day!
Oh, Glorious Day!
Death couldn’t defeat Him,
Or lock Him away. 

The Son has risen,
The Light is here. 
We are forgiven,
No longer in fear. 

Oh Glorious Day,
When we were set free. 
Oh Glorious Day,
When we were redeemed. 

Redeemed by the Son,
Loved by the King-
We’ll lift up our voices 
To praise Him and sing-

Oh, Glorious Day,
Oh, Glorious Day!
We’ve been Redeemed,
Oh, Glorious Day!

What I Want

A poem about life from 2020 that I finally finished September 2022

What do I want?
I don’t know.
Nothing.
Everything.
I want to lay under a cloudless sky
And look up at the stars.
I want to listen to the song of the wind
As it whispers through the trees,
Sharing tales of years gone by
And truths eternal.
I want to see the stories of every living thing
And listen to the beating of their heart-
Their hopes, their dreams, their sorrows.
I want to live in the light
And fully embrace life and living,
Yet remember the darkness out there.
And still have the courage to face it.
I want to live with my heart bursting with hope,
Arms spread wide, palms outstretched,
Soaking up every moment that comes my way,
Every good and beautiful thing brighter
And more sweet for the darkness
That did not overcome.
I want everything and yet nothing
But to worship and rest
In the cathedral of your love

Barefoot

Originally written August 5, 2020.

I’ve felt the warmth of hot pavers beneath my feet
And the refreshing cold tickle my toes
As I dipped them in to test the water. 
I’ve felt soft dirt and grass scratch against my heels while racing 
Laughing all the way to the finish line. 
I’ve felt powdery sand between my toes
And salty waves gently wash them clean
As I searched for shells. 
I’ve felt the cold ground beneath my soles
On autumn mornings while watching the world wake
Tucking them underneath me to keep them warm. 

But there’s nothing like dancing barefoot. 
No tying of pointe shoes,
Hair sprayed buns,
Costumes dripping glitter,
Or smiles for the audience. 

It’s spontaneous. 
It’s hair-flying, can’t stop spinning freedom.
It’s jean shorts and a t-shirt,
A makeup-less face, bare feet,
And soul bared for all the world to see.

It’s an end of a movie, catchy song,
Giggle-filled dance with kids. 
It’s your favorite song coming on while working,
Dancing around the house and kitchen. 

And it’s that moment when time stand stills
And you’re so overwhelmed with joy
That you dance to the song 
Only your soul can hear
And your bare feet give you wings to fly 🦋