A Poem on Grief

​It’s been 365 days 
Since we lost you. 
It simultaneously seems
Like yesterday
And forever ago. 
You were gone 
And replaced by grief. 

Most of the time
It’s barely perceptible. 
Hiding away,
Adrift in the recesses of my mind,
Carefully tucked away
Until something calls it forth. 

It could be something simple–
A song on the radio,
A movie on TV,
A jet in the sky–
That sends an instant signal
Straight to my heart,
Echoing across its depths,
Forcing me to remember
(Not that I ever forgot).

But ironically, yet fitting,
It’s not the simple reminders 
That hurt the most,
But the lack thereof. 
It’s the things that should be there
But aren’t. 
The things that are missing
Along with you. 

The endless unread messages on my phone,
The helping hand after any celebration,
The bright smile and infectious laugh during a story,
The quick wit and thoughtful words in abundance,
The hug when it was time to go,
The reassurance of next time…
The emptiness in the places where you should be. 

These are the moments
That call forth the aching pain 
I can’t ignore. 
These are the moments
That draw the tears I cannot stop. 
These are the moments
That bring a sorrow-drenched nostalgia
For what used to be, but isn’t anymore. 
An aching yearning to go back–
But knowing I never can. 

Because everything in life
(Even you)
Is temporal. 
(Well, almost everything. 
My love is eternal).

Even this aching emptiness
Will come and go,
Tucked away in the crevices of my heart
Until it is called forth once again,
And again, and again. 
Until it comes forth for its final time
(As it too is only temporary)
And we are together once more 
In eternity. ❤️